For the last two years, I have had the privilege of working remotely for a college. While the position had nothing to do with teaching, it allowed me to spend my time with Everly and am so grateful that the college provided this opportunity. Nap times, evenings and weekends were spent working on my computer. Over the two years, the job description and time commitment changed, but my thankfulness for the job God provided remained steadfast.
Two weeks ago, I was asked to meet on campus to check in. I found out that the position needed to be moved on campus to better serve the goals of the department. This isn’t something that would work for our family. If I wanted to work full-time outside of the home, I would return to teaching and use my degree. This particular position would require me to commute, work year round, and make a less competitive salary compared to what I would earn as a teacher. I knew immediately, my time with this organization was ending.
Ending a job is never easy. The timing of it is particularly difficult. Things are FINALLY coming together for our house. Finally! We recently agreed to a price with our builder and signed the contract. We’re preparing all of our paperwork for our construction loan and submitting that this week. To lose my income, right when we are about to start on this long-awaited project was not great news, to say the least.
But God. He is always good. From the start, Nate and I have had a firm rule that the mortgage would be based on his salary only. We would keep our monthly payments the same as our last house. We would not build as big as what the bank allowed, but what we felt was responsible with our money. We would not be house poor. I’m thankful that God put this on our hearts form the start or else my lack of employment would have been a significant setback.
God forced my hand in this decision. I don’t enjoy being in transition, but I know this will ultimately be for my own good. Watching Nate work at World Relief these last few months has made me realize how much I long for purpose. He comes home from work every day fired up about his job and how grateful he is that God orchestrated this in his life. I can’t deny that I’ve been jealous about his excitement to be around other people working towards the same goal. To have his personal passions align with his professional ambitions has brought him to life.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly find purpose and fulfillment in motherhood, but I’ve always had a need to be doing something to help others. That didn’t change when Everly arrived. I’m hoping and praying that over the next few months, God makes it clear what I should be doing with my time. I know where my heart lies. I don’t know if there is a position out there that allows me to work at home which also provides flexibility for my daughter’s schedule that also centers around social justice. I’m gonna go with…probably not. BUT! I know there is a reason for this transition and I’m listening and looking for the meaning behind it all. I know it will ultimately lead to where I’m supposed to be.